“Paint disaster – nothing like a summer job”

One summer I got work with a local painter. Now to say I’m useless with my hands would be an understatement – I wouldn't catch a balloon if it was floating down on top of me in a portaloo! So even though this painter was only paying me €40 a day from 7.30-6 bells, he was the one getting a raw deal!

Anyways, one Friday afternoon we were finishing a job on a fine big house out in the countryside. I’d say the job was worth a fortune. So, like with all Friday afternoons, we were all in great form; slagging, chatting about football & women, the usual banter.

Now this house we painted in a beautiful cream colour. It looked very well. My job was to finish off the window sills with jet black paint to really give the cream an extra kick. I must say, I did a grand job (for once). All the window sills were done to perfection and looking snazzy.

As I finally finished the last one, I shouted to the boss who was around the corner, “Right Pat, that’s me, all them are done for ya?”

“Good man Rory, just wash the paint brushes out and we’ll call it a day,” he replied.

“Ahhhh nice one!” says I as I skipped around the corner in great form. To clean the brushes I was, as the budding painters amongst you will know, soaking them with water and then shaking the paint off them into the grass. I flew through them and my mind began to wander... What divilment would I get up to this weekend?

As I finished the last brush I turned around and stopped dead, like a deer in headlights. Jesus, I nearly died with shock. Wasn't the whole jaysusin’ good cream gable end wall positively covered in black dots; every fucking corner of it.

“Ahhh nooooooo!” I says.

Being the genius that I am, didn't I take off my old jumper (which was covered in every colour of paint under the sun) and try to rub off the paint. I’ll let you imagine what kind of state I left the wall in. Then, when I realised I was banjoed, I just heard,

“Ya right Rory!!?. We’ll hit the road now,” from the boss.

I just panicked ran around the front just jumped into the van and said nothing.

It was no surprise that I never got a call back from that particular poor unfortunate painter to help him out again!!