I was telling a girl in work a few stories about Thailand. She found this one nuts. Not too sure if it’s a funny one, but jaysus it’s mental. This is the god’s honest truth... Right so, when I was in Thailand the bit of hair I have was getting long, so I said I’d look for a barber to get my head shaved.
I found this little kip of a spot that had a barbers sign outside. I wandered in, big tourist head on me. I says to the women that greeted me (adding in some hand gestures for effect),
“Ehh my hair all gone, no hair left please!” (which I thought was a fairly legit question to ask in any barber shop on planet earth). She nodded and began to shave away. The smell of the place was cat! As she was working away at my head, I looked in the mirror and noticed 3 young people eyeballing me; one girl about 12, one boy about the same age and one… well what I would call a ‘half & half.’ Basically it was a boy (I think) with a pair of knockers and long hair – scary looking crater god love it. So the woman cutting my hair says to me,
“You want out back!?” and points at the girl!
For the first time ever, I was lost for words.
“Eh whatttttt, no no hair only...”
“Oh I see I see,” says she. “You want boy!!?” And points at the young lad!
“No no. Are ya messing!!?” says I. Then she points at the “half & half” and says,
“Ok so you want that?” I was sweating altogether.
“Jaysus no, just shave me facking hair please, that’s all I want.”
I let her finish shaving me scalp, got up off my chair fairly shocked and puzzled, walked out of the shop and says to myself..
“My god, aren't I one lucky chap to have been born and raised in Ireland by a man from Offaly and a woman from Westmeath.”